I didn’t post to my blog this weekend. When I started this, my goal was to get something online every Sunday without fail. This week I failed. I didn’t know what to write about.
I spent most of last week putting off thinking about writing. I’ve got a lot of things going on at the moment. Aside from my regular Monday-to-Friday job, I have:
- A secret project I’m working on for my clothing and have been putting a lot of hours into designing and prototyping that. (More info on the secret when it’s ready to go public.)
- I’ve also been unwell for the last few months, requiring several hospital visits and a certain amount of downtime. (I’m going to write about my health stuff in full when I know the result of everything, at the moment I’m still waiting on test results.)
- I’m also working on a few exciting freelance projects: a couple of smaller ones and a much bigger one. (Again, I’ll start talking about them when they’re ready to go public.)
- There’s also a social life to consider too. While sometimes working 90+ hours a week I’m also trying to spend time with friends. I got dumped recently for being a shitty boyfriend, working too much and being selfish with my time and not doing things with her. I was an arsehole. It was a big wake-up call too, it made me realise that if I want to be successful in what I do, it can’t only be about the work. What good is any success if you don't have someone to share it with?
- And then, finally, there’s this blog. Each post takes me somewhere around 3–10 hours to write, from the first draft to final edit. Plus there are all the drafts that never make it to the blog at all.
This weekend had elements of each of the above. As well as lots of drafts that never made it anywhere. I didn’t have a clear plan in mind, merely a loose assortment of ideas. I started 5-6 drafts that didn’t get anywhere. I kept hitting a wall with what I was writing about and felt utterly uninspired with everything. It got to my Sunday evening deadline, and it was evident I wasn’t going to have anything online.
I was hoping inspiration would strike at some point today, maybe in the shower or while I was riding my motorbike.
I spent all morning with no ideas and started picturing the insurmountable year-long task I had built ahead of me: 42 more weeks of having to come up with interesting things to write about. I couldn’t even make it to 10.
Then I had a good talk with a friend who helped me realise that I’m entirely overthinking it. I started blogging to get better at writing, not to write an epic piece of literature each week. I should be documenting the process as much as anything else. Writing about how hard it is to blog sometimes will help me to get past that problem in the future. It reminds me of the stoic philosophy of Ryan Holiday who wrote an excellent book called “The Obstacle is The Way”; about how one can turn adversity into advantage and when something blocks your path, it can actually open a way that is new and better.
And so, from the despair of trying and failing to write all weekend, I’ve produced this post. It's only short and won't ever be considered one of my more interesting bits of writings, but I’m already sure that it’s one of my favourites so far.